just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
