glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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