mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
