dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
