I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
