i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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