so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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