He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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