Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
