So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
