great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
