you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
