so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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