You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
