My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
