No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
