I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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