not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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