I bet he comes in French.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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