So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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