This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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