Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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