Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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