he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
