I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
