you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
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