I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
