I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
