Need sex. Gaining weight.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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