Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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