if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
