She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
ok first of all what the fuck
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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