watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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