I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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