I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
