Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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