Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
