as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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