i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
