I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Sorry my hands just texted you
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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