Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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