the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm really busy with my period
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