After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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