member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I have post one night stand depression
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
