can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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