I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
it was like eating out sand paper
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
