bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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