Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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