I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
And my parents said I crawled through the house
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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