For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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